Hello, Empathy, My Old Friend

… I’ve come to talk with you again.~ ♪♫

Anyway.

So it might seem a little bizarre for someone like me – spiritually inclined and whatnot – to have a moment of, “Oh yeah. I forgot about that,” regarding something like empathy, or high sensitivity in general. Guess who has two thumbs and forgot they were an empath? Me.

Continue reading “Hello, Empathy, My Old Friend”

Test Reading – Five Realms Oracle

Hello!

Full disclosure, I’ve done three other readings with this deck already and it’s a bit scary how on-the-nose the results can be, sometimes. The reason for so many readings is simple: understanding the cards in different contexts. The more situations I find the cards in, the more facets I can look at and interpret.

Which brings me to my Yule reading for this year, which is actually a rune reading spread that I found on Pinterest and decided to try out since my cards have runes on them. Rather than tossing runes onto my rug, however, I asked my pendulum how many cards to pull for each position and read them from there. This deck seems to work really well with my pendulum, actually.

So, here’s the spread(which I’ve actually flipped from the original, for flow reasons), followed by my interpretation of the cards:

yulespread-dec16-1

Past – The Warrior, The Sage, and The Wounded

This one is pretty straightforward. All the crap in April happened, I got called down a path I never thought I’d have to go down, and I’ve been struggling with trying to live without someone who had a massive effect on my life. Not only have I been trying to get a handle on the grieving process and trying to move past it, I’ve been in situations where it feels like people expect me to pretend it never happened and move on with my life. I can’t do that. This year changed me, for better or worse, and while I’m probably stronger because of it, I still don’t think I’ve got enough of a handle on anything to start really living again, even though the gods know I’m trying. Long story short: shit happened, and I’m still trying to deal with some of it.

Present – Wyrd

Speaking of on-the-nose, things are currently weird. I feel like I and many others are in a kind of between-space right now. Chronologically this seems to be true, since we’re between Yule and the New Year right now, and that seems like a rather funky time in most peoples’ lives, and not just because of the holidays or lack thereof. Right now, I’m taking a bit of a breather. Taking space – hee – from life while I try to figure out how to do anything remotely resembling moving forward. I feel a bit like life knocked me down hard over the last several months, and I’m just now getting up to limp into 2017. For the sake of understanding, I feel obligated to say that while I do try to put my best face forward on camera or in text, my mental/emotional state has been an absolute clusterfuck for the last seven months or so. That said, things are happening outside of my awareness right now and I think – I hope, anyway – that whatever strings are being pulled will lead to a reprieve at the least, and a breakthrough at best.

Action – The Rune

If you’re thinking this card has a very Odin vibe about it, you’d be right, and it was definitely designed that way on purpose. My tentative meaning for The Rune was something along the lines of embracing the unknown as a challenge, rather than an insurmountable wall. Looking into shadows you normally shun or shy away from. Ordeals and confrontations of the self come to mind immediately, and actually make me recoil a bit. I feel like I’ve already had enough crap thrown at me for one year, but unfortunately I believe the Powers That Be aren’t done with me yet. I know this is an action will have to initiate, and taking action is by far the thing that I’m the worst at. This card represents stepping into the unknown and trusting that it’s for a reason. Or stepping into the unknown with a purpose, or a target. The Gar rune has always looked a bit like a crosshair, to me.

Stagnation – The Victorious, and the Realm of Spirit

This is what happens if I don’t take that action. That tower sticks out like a sore thumb in an, “I’m just waiting for the lightning strike,” kind of way. While it might make me feel like I’ve beaten something or won out in some way, I feel like it’ll be short lived and hollow. Yes, I could be happy, but I’ll still be stuck in the same place and just asking for something else to come along and push me out of the tower. (Oh hey, Bran Stark reference on accident.) So the question posed by the cards turns into, “Would you rather move of your own power or be moved by something you can’t control?” Being a Taurus, I’d rather just not move in general, but I see where this is going.

Future – The Guardian and The Alchemist

Now, this pair I find interesting for all sorts of reasons, not the least of which being the fact that my primary archetype is the Alchemist. There’s a lot to pick out of these cards. They’re both facing each other, and are pulling magic in the same sort of way, but one is much more purposeful and the other is experimental. The Guardian is controlling water, and the Alchemist is playing with fire. The Guardian, being a dark-elf, is old, while the Alchemist is a young girl. Frankly, I’m still struggling a little with the meaning of the Guardian, but together these two cards synergize so well. Like the inner child and the inner parent (hm. “Guardian.” Interesting. That actually explains a little about why I’m terrified of the Guardian in the Wildwood Tarot, now that I think about it) coming together to make things happen of their own power, and at their own pace. So this seems like coming into power as a self-reliant being and not just being swooped around by forces beyond anyone’s control. I’m not quite sure yet, but I’ll definitely know it when I get there, if I get there.

Overview/Bottom of the Deck – The Smith

yulespread-dec16-2
Also, a snail shell, amethyst geode, and blue quartz in rhyolite.

Recently I’ve started looking at the card at the bottom of the deck for an overview or a, “here’s what you’re missing” piece of information. The Smith has actually come up in a couple of other readings with this deck. I tend to be drawn to the Rune, rather than the actual figure, and the bit of the Uruz rune poem that says, “dross comes from bad iron.” Meaning, nothing worthwhile comes out of half-assing it. So, elbow grease and a steel resolve will likely be useful going forward. A common thread with me is that whatever I really put my mind to, I will achieve, because I’m a stubborn bull like that. So when a path isn’t really meant for me, I will plow my own. Make my own spear and throw it, too! At least, that’s what I like to think, and that’s been the case in the past. This deck is the result of being dedicated and determined, so hopefully that willpower carries through into whatever The Rune wants me to do.


The future is still a little blurry, but I’ll get there when I get there. In the meantime, what do you think of this deck? I’m pretty proud of it, if not as a functioning deck (which, I think it is) than as an artistic experiment. So far, most of my readings with it have been pretty spot-on, character and world knowledge aside.

Have a good one, see you when I see you.

φ

 

 

Anxiety Rambles

Guess what? I fixed my editing software! 😀 And decided to do some rambles about anxiety because it’s a thing that I have and can do videos about. I’m gonna make a playlist about it. I am excited, if you couldn’t tell.

Also, something I didn’t mention in the video is the idea that fear can actually direct you toward where you need to go next, so that’ll probably go into another video at some point. “The thing I fear contains the thing I need.”

My Etsy shop is still on vacation until I can get a handle on some stuff but I’m working on it. I probably won’t be offering tarot or rune readings anymore, but my illustrations are still up. We’ll see! I’m also working on a super-secret project that is currently still in testing, but I think so far it’s working. Like, ~really~ well.

See you soon!

φ

Must Construct Additional Pylons

Hello, everyone.

I promise I didn’t get hurt or anything when I went on my adventure, I’ve just been lurking around in the background for a few weeks trying to recharge and get my brain back on correctly. More details eventually, but apparently mountains and I have a massive connection, because as soon as I got within picking-out-trees distance I felt like I was home. Or at least more grounded. Coming back out to the flats has given me a lot to think about and digest, and not all of it is good.

Also, Pup wanted a group get-together the weekend after the massive, anxiety-inducing, emotionally, mentally, and physically draining excursion. I think I’ve about reached my limit for the next year or so when it comes to human interaction and I need time before I have to deal with those two again. I love them to bits but neither of them quite seem to understand the extent to which people – even people that I care about and consider my friends – exhaust me, nor that I don’t come back from it nearly as fast as they all seem to. Digital stuff, I’m fine with. I don’t get sensory overload from talking to people or watching stuff on a screen. Heck, I can play Overwatch for hours (not that I do very often, but sometimes I just need to shoot pixels at other pixels, you know?) and still be alright. Being in person with people, especially in an area that I’m not familiar with, I get twitchy, and that exhausts me. It’s gotten worse after the Mutt incident. Can’t say as I blame myself, there.

Sooo, yah. I’ve been trying to recuperate from some apparently severe emotional and mental exhaustion. The other day I was reminded – forcefully and by my own brain – that I can’t run myself on maximum all the time without suffering consequences. I need to construct additional pylons, as it were. Be more firm in my boundaries, learn to say no, and really listen to myself. All things I thought I’d learned how to do but in the wake of tragedy, I can forgive myself for forgetting.

I’ll be back with a video eventually. Right now I need a nap and bit of tarot, maybe. It tends to get me in more of an objective, relaxed mindset where I can properly process things.

We’ll see.
φ

BRB, Adventuring

Hello, friends.

No video this week, because I’ve been preparing for another three-day trip, akin to the one I took in College where I went around Colorado and saw All The Things with my geology class. This time, though, I have a more solemn purpose for my gallivanting around, and the Pack is coming with me. We’re off today to go scatter Mutt’s ashes up in the mountains. He’d have liked that, I think. Only two things he would have wanted more would probably be getting made into little necklaces for us and his family, or getting shipped off to Egypt. (Which is where he was the last time he was a human!) I know he’s in good hands, both physically and soulfully, so I’m not too morose about the whole thing. Just worried about the getting there and back. And it’s supposed to rain again, like it did the whole week of April 27th.

So I’ll be back soon. Until then have some poetry that I remember from one of my dad’s books, but I don’t know who the original author is:

I must off to the seas again,
To the lonely sea in the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship,
And a star to steer her by.