This is my post about the current shitstorm flying around Aloha From Hell‘s neck of the woods, so if you’re just not interested or don’t care, feel free to skip this one. Otherwise, the rest of this post is behind a read more tag. Because I’m a little shy.
Hello, friends, and maybe Sebastian, too.
I’ve been chewing myself up over writing anything about The Situation, mostly because I don’t think I matter too much in the online world, and because it feels like everyone else has already said what I want to say. However, I want my heart out there and I want my friends to know that my blog is a safe space for people going through things like Sebastian is. So without further ado, I’m going to jump right in before I decide not to write this for the fourth time.
To Sebastian: I don’t know you, and you don’t know me. Not very well, anyway. I kinda just stumbled onto the Serpent’s Labyrinth one day because I wanted to see what the whole, “July for Loki,” thing was about, and from there decided that you’re a cool person! I didn’t realize you and Beth and people were such a big deal to the community until I started reading more, and looking through Etsy and reading the books, and I’ve sorta backed off since then because… I’m a nobody. And knowing that you had so much shit to deal with prior to this whole blow-up, I didn’t want to freak you or anyone else out by waltzing in and being super-friendly, which is rather my tendency online(in person I’m *this* close to being a shut-in, so… compensating for that, I guess). So I don’t have a whole lot to say that might be super-meaningful, especially since everyone else has pretty much already said what I wanted to, but, I’m going to echo that we’re all here for you, and we’re all proud of you. And you’re being amazingly resilient and strong in the way you’re dealing with all this! I’ve been through abuse(and even stronger words which I hesitate to use for fear of having to explain why) before, and it took me four or five years to reclaim myself to the point where I was able to confront my abuser about it. So, I admire how well you’ve sprung back from this slap in the face. You’re part of the reason I started blogging about my own UPG, too. Before I found your blog, among others, I didn’t realize that this was A Thing that People Do, and was reticent about bringing up that I could listen to Big Guns Upstairs around anyone, much less blogging about it. I didn’t know what I was missing and now I’ve found this community where I can be myself, my whole self, without the fear of scrutiny I’ve had my whole life. We all have our brainweasels (thank you for that word, btw, super-useful) and we all make mistakes, but we’re all learning together, and you’ve helped so many people become confident in their own power. Thank you for doing what you do, and for sticking around through this shitstorm.
To my followers: I try not to judge(unless you’re being a complete ass, which hasn’t been a problem here yet, thankfully), I try not to be too much of a prick(although if I am, I do still make mistakes and I’m sorry if I hurt you, I don’t know I am most of the time and I can’t blame that on anything but my own ignorance and the challenges of digital conversation), and I want people to feel safe in their own voice on here. Being able to voice my own opinion and talk about the weirdshit that happens to me has been a challenge my whole life, having grown up with my mother, so I try not to be a skeptic or cynic too much of the time, especially in this community. I want people to feel safe, accepted, and important, even if it’s only for a little while, even if it’s only while they’re making bad jokes back and forth on a comment string. Everyone needs a safe place, even online, and it pains me to know that so many people think they don’t deserve that, or just flat out don’t have that because of the situations they live in. Everyone deserves to have a voice. Everyone deserves happiness. But if someone is going to be a general asshole on here there will be consequences. There are other communities that would be happy to have malicious trolls in their midst, but this isn’t one of them.
That’s my two cents. Here’s to hoping I didn’t sound completely bizarre! I’m going to go back into my little Hermit Hidey Hole now and work on figuring out how to draw chibis some more. They’re surprisingly difficult for someone who draws realism all the time.