On Differentiating Between Victims and Victimizers

To anyone else who has been abused, in any way, it gets better. Finding courage is a slow process, and a terrifying, sometimes frustrating one. Reclaiming the power you lost is hard, but you have allies. You’re not alone.

If someone hurt you, they don’t get to decide that they didn’t.

Sacred Liminality

Trigger Warning: discussion of abusive tactics

beware-of-the-half-truth-you-may-have-gotten-hold-of-the-wrong-half-6

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Over the past few days, I have watched as an acquaintance of mine, Sebastian Lokason, was accused of being abusive and was generally trash-talked on tumblr, wordpress, and elsewhere. The initial post is here, and Sebastian’s reply is here, for those who want to read both and evaluate the situation for themselves.

As someone who has been abused, I always do my best to listen and give serious credence to any accusations of abuse, even if they are about someone I have always had good interactions with. I know firsthand how charismatic and “nice” abusers can be in public and with anyone that’s a part of their “outer circle” of friends. I have also had a friend of mine confide in me that his wife was verbally and physically abusive (this was only after I’d asked about his bruises and we’d known each other for…

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