I’m currently three days(two?) behind on a mission to complete Calamity’s 30-Day Tarot Challenge. Lest anyone wonder why, I have been editing and formatting and format editing Runesong for the past week and since it comes out on the 21st – which would be tomorrow, when I’m writing this – I’ve been nitpicking. It just went out for review, so, yay! Breather! Now, let’s do this thing!
Day 8 – Which card do you dread pulling the most?
Judgement. No question. Judgement, and about half of the suit of Swords. Why? Fear, mostly. With the swords, I don’t know what it is. In my old deck, Tarot of the Elves, the Knight used to always make me a bit paranoid, because it always stood for the idea that someone was plotting something behind my back, which I don’t like. Even if that thing is a good thing. The Ten of Swords makes me a bit nervous for the same reason, like, who’s about to stab me in the back? Is it me? Please let it not be me.
For Judgement, it stems from a deep-set fear of that very thing. Being judged, especially judged as unworthy. Evidently I have this thing about worrying what people think of me, even though my much-more-observant-than-I boyfriend usually points out that nobody is actually paying any attention to me at all, let alone judging me. When the card comes up for other people, I’m a bit more alright with it, when it comes up for me, I cringe and want to run far away.
Speaking of other people, I really do dread pulling the Tower, because every other time I’ve pulled it, I’ve been the one stuck cleaning up the aftermath. That, and I don’t wish culture-shock-inducing rapid change upon anyone, even though it happens.
Day 9 (my favorite day) – What card do you pull the most often? Why do you think that is the case?
It used to be the Hermit, which is why I named my page, “being the Hermit,” and it usually popped up because I am normally an introvert, and have a tendency to huddle up in my wee shell for long periods of time, refusing help from anyone who would be so kind as to offer. Not so much anymore. After I got the Shadowscapes deck, my new totem card is apparently the Two of Cups, which I’m guessing refers to my state of affairs with Bran, my aforementioned observant boyfriend-person. We seem to be doing a good job thus far of “filling each other’s cups,” as it were, although there are some things we are neglecting that we probably shouldn’t be. Finance comes to mind. Neither of us are really money-oriented people. Which, in a culture that runs on money, is not the best thing ever. Luckily, my books seems to be gaining wee bits of momentum! In Denmark. Which is quite possibly the last thing I expected, but, hey! It’s something!
Day 10 – What card best represents your personality (or, is most often pulled to represent you in a spread)?
Again, this used to be the Hermit. Quiet and insecure and kinda not knowing what to do with my particular spot in the universe. Now… I have no idea. Let me check.
Evidently, Shadowscapes thinks I’m a Sun kind of person. In a lot of ways, I guess I am. According to test scores I’m generally pretty bright, I’m always been an optimist – except in high school, but it’s hard for anyone to be an optimist in high school – and I tend to dream bigger than I can probably accomplish. This month, anyway. My new year’s resolution was to be a source of hope for people, which, I suppose the sun also is, and I do that by dreaming up worlds and characters and writing down how they deal with their problems, in hopes that maybe someone, somewhere, can apply those principles elsewhere. Like, never give up, even if you feel like you are/should be dead. Or, even the people with the most seemingly useless skills can change the world if they put them to good use. I guess this could also be a pun, given that I’ve always seen myself as more of a “son” than my parents have always considered. I’ve been told a lot recently that I’ve got a warm and friendly outward personality, so, I guess I’ve made some progress from the shy wee hermit I used to be.
And with that, I bid you adieu. May your tomorrows always be more on time than mine usually are. I’ll see you then.
-E.J. the Sunny Hermit